jiggity jig

I just got back from an afternoon of wedding dress shopping with Michelle. I'm so happy. Why is shopping for a dress so fun?! We even got free dress advices from this big name aussie designer..hohoho...

Mon Dieu!

today i wondered,

how do you really *live* for God?

truly drop your earthly desires?

the world keeps on telling me

this is what you want

this is what you need

just keep on spinning

and you'll get what you want

but why do i find myself

wanting more and more

why is it that

my thirst cannot be satisfied?

and why does so many of us think that

the only blessings

come in materialistic forms?

*************************

today i'm reminded that

because of the price He paid for me

because of His love that melted me

all I need to do is
learn to be more like Jesus

as I no longer live

but Christ lives in me

when the world asks

how much is she worth?

I am priceless

no matter what you think

because

Christ lives in me

as simple as that

Christ lives in me

and then there was one...

Today is a sad day for me. My mum has gone back to Taiwan a couple of days ago and my dear sis has just left for her loooong Europe trip this afternoon. Honestly, I'm not used to being so independent again after being back from the exchange :( Hmmm, I will bury myself with work so I won't have to think about it. But it does makes my heart ache thinking about not being able to come home to a full house after school and not being able to crawl into their beds at night and talk until either we fall asleep or they kick me out. I guess I'm only really independent when I am forced to be so like last year.

It's really funny tho, because mum was thinking about making extra copies of our house keys, because she was worried that I will lose them at some stage. I had to persuade her that I will not accidently lock myself out of the house (it has never happened to me before, me thinks!). I guess this is a good opportunity to learn to be more organised...remembering to pay the bills and rent on time, and do ALL the houseworks. Grr...I hate cooking for one. My strategy is to cook the food based on their used-by dates. Right now, I have enough food to last me 2 weeks in the fridge...and of course, those mama-made dumplings in my freezer will feed me in times of desperation :p But someone found out about those dumplings and has threatened to come and steal them...NO, I do not have enough to go around!!

So I promised my dear jie-jie (sis) that I will not pull a "Bridget-Jones" and sing "All by myself" tonight. Hahha, so I'm just rambling on...I'm listening to "I love a lonely day" by Amy Grant at the moment.. it's cheering me up :)

Solitude can be so dear.
Loneliness is not so blue,
When it puts my mind on You.
...I love a lonely day...because it makes me think of You!!!

ENJOY YOUR EUROPEAN EXPERIENCE DEAR SIS.
You are reading this from some Apple store, aren't you? MISS YOU!!

10 things that make me feel grateful today

I am very drained...physically, mentally, emotionally... I didn't use to be like this - I used to be able to sprint up and down all day without drinking V or redbull :)
These are the 10 things that made me feel very blessed today.

1. Spending the weekend with very special friends - and having a wonderful time strolling around Sydney. Occassions like this are very rare and it was amazing to see how we are all on different walks of life now, when it was only a year ago, we were simply exchange students.

2. Being spoiled by my mum, who really is my pillar of strength and I almost take her for granted sometimes. And my father, although so far in distance, but near at heart.

3. My legs. I may have complained about how sore they were last weekend, but they are the very vehicle that carry me around and take me places. Again, I've taken them for granted.

4. Having the opportunity to serve God with others at the end of the year in Taiwan.

5. Never running out of books to read. It is always refreshing to be able to see life through different lenses and develop my very own set of values and opinions from them.

6. Witnessing how a physically unwell brother from church is trusting and clinging onto God with his life as he begins to undergo 20 weeks of chemo/stem cell transplant/radiotherapy treatments while his wife is pregnant.

7. Knowing that there are people who are willing to hold my hands while I stumble upon the crosswalks of life. Thanks dear sis, you are the apple of my eye.

8. Having 2 different types of food in my life...one to satisfy my hunger temporarily, and one to satisfy my soul infinitely...

9. Recalling that several times in life, when I stubbornly thought I could never change or I could never make it, He makes it happen, just to prove silly old me wrong!

10. Remembering that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and not just a coincidential collision of particles. :))


(This is from the NSW art gallery me and Viv visited last weekend....a room full of particles...50,000 handpainted balls floating in a room....)

wave tossed in the ocean

One of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is about "faith". I've had my fair share of high and low tides of faith since I've been back...so many things happened that made me question the God who gave me life...how ungrateful I know...but doubts...it's like a starless night for the soul...a spiritual drought. Just like this Casting Crown song says, "But once again, I said 'Amen' and it's still raining..."
But praise God, I know He is changing and helping me to grow through all this, because only the perfect One can change the imperfect me. I believe that although He sees my ongoing failures and inadequacies, He will still use me for His good purposes. I couldn't help but feel so bitter about some people but He reminded me not to give up on them because often my emotions cloud my judgments..He also really made me think about pursuing real Joy...not those 'at the moment' temporary happiness but something eternal...

Hmmm...better start doing some work...my thesis is really draining me out these days...2 other people worked on this project before me, and basically what I'm doing is combining their work and fix up all their problems...Maybe upgrade and add in more cool features to it so we can finally publish it. To be honest, this project isn't as interesting as I thought it would turn out to be, but oh wells...I'm sure once we spend heaps more time together, I will eventually learn to like it :)

I miss the girls. What an exhausting week that was but totally worth it. Hopefully all our paths will cross again someday soon.

knick knack paddywhack..

[WHAT] One-year reunion for U of I exchange students
[WHO] Viv1, Viv2, Lisa, Minsun
[WHEN] This weekend
[WHERE] My backyard....Sydney
[WHY] Coz it's been WAYY too long since we last saw each other.
[W-HOW] Viv1 coming down from Brisbane and Minsun flying in from Korea.

Really looking forward to spend time with the girls and catch up....yup..A LOT of catching up.

Dear God.

The skeptics are watching to see who will fall,
While those disillusioned search for the Truth in it all;
Maybe today we’ll cross their paths unaware,
And they’ll stop and look at us. What will be there?
-Steven Curtis Chapman

"He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life" -John 12:25

God, how can I live for you when I am so attached to what is here in this world?! Sometimes I'm low on faith and I need to see that you really do have the best plans for my life. Please continue to mould me and teach me how to trust you completely with my all...