going there means leaving here...

I haven't updated for a while...and it's December already! I only really noticed that yesterday when I was at the airport leaving Hong Kong. It seems that it takes a while for me to realize that things are happening...and I've been away from Sydney for almost a month! So Hong Kong was really fun. I didn't get to go to the new Disneyland tho! But the festive decorations there were amazing...walking down the street you can really feel the Christmas cheer and spirit all around!

So I am going to be trite and say "I can't believe another year has gone by already!". Here I am, all ready to reflect back on the year again...maybe not just yet! I've been listening to George Michael's "Last Christmas" a lot these days because it seems to be playing whenever I am certain stores. It's such a sad song and I wonder why they play this during X'mas when it mentions nothing about the festival except in its title. However, it just makes me think of everything that happened since last Christmas and I'm feeling incredibly blessed...

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another" - John 1:16.

Amazing Grace...how sweet the sound!

So, what's happening this summer? I will be going on a short term mission trip to Taiwan (where I'm already at right now actually) with a team of 7 from my church in Syd from the 14th Dec (in one day!) 'til the 31st Dec.. The location is BaoShan which is a farming community and we will be teaching at a high school there as well as helping out at the local church.

I'm really excited about this trip...to experience God's work in a different culture. So much training and preparation has gone into this (we even hired a professional balloon twister to teach us how to make animals out of those long balloons! Must say I'm terrible at it...and have been told numerous times to try and smile while twisting those balloons instead of frowning in horror...I think I will just stick with making the 'sword' for the kids...:p). However, this is going to be the second year that I will be away from my family during Christmas time. :(

Alright, I better go pack and do some final prep!

Goodbye 2006...I think this will be my last post of the year! Toodles...

sweet november

This is an entry from forever ago...it's been sitting in my draft box for a while coz i never had the chance to finish it...

==

These days have been kind of crazy. Developing super itchy skin during exam time didn't help and I couldn't sleep because of it. The doc said it's eczema due to stress?! Now my skin is blotchy and yuck.

On a happier note, I got to see my dear friend Vivian again who came to Sydney for a conference. Too bad we didn't get to do much this time, but we did what we do best...eat! :)

I also got to be a tour guide and took a friend I met last year in Cali around Sydney. It had been the most exhausting week and I really don't want to see the Opera House ever again! But as always, is always nice to catch up with ppl I met last year.



viv and i were pointing at our thanksgiving "chicken" that we baked for almost 2 hours...didn't turn out pretty at all. but not that we celebrate TG day in Aust anyway right?


digging into our dessert at Y2K...sticky rice soup thingy with pastry?


With Lisa..i think i was almost falling alseep.

Also got to meet up with Jani, a NZ friend whom I hadn't seen for 6 years...

We were in this Anglican girls' school together for 2 years when we were around 10. I think we were the only 2 unspoiled kids there :p

Got to catch up with uni friends before exams also...
spent all night deciding on which DVDs to watch out of the gazillions that we had...:D

pic stolen from louis' site.


maddy and I with our soy latte. she has dragon ballz hair and she cracks me up.


with alice and maddy...we go way back to good old high school days.


Introducing....Team BaoShan!




FATHER MAKE US ONE...Unity and love in our team for the STM.

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ." - 1 Corinthians 12:12

something i did on the plane :)

10 random things about me.
1. What I love most about a cold/rainy day is being stuck in the house with a good book, hot chocolate and someone to talk to.
2. I'm terrified of raw seafood, which is sort of sad because I love Japanese food.
3. I wish i could whistle or click my fingers.
4. I don't normally drink tomato juice but I always order them on the plane
5. I don't like it when people leave wet sponges in the sink
6. I'm almost always seen with my hair in a ponytail
7. I'm a dog person and therefore am scared of cats
8. I love watching cooking shows but they never seem to inspire me to cook
9. My childhood dream was to become a nurse like Florence Nightingale.
10. I love the final minutes of a cross country race. That floating feeling.

9 things I am unable to resist
1. humming certain tunes during Christmas...
2. eating healthy food
3. starring at the city skyline at night
4. buying cards and (forgetting to) send them
5. returning a smile
5. daydreaming during lectures
6. doing something spontaneous (then freaking out)
7. reading in a hot bath on a cold day
8. writing things in my journal
9. spending an arvo in bookshop/coffeeshop with friends.

8 places I want to visit
1. France - paris, provence
2. Italy - tuscany
3. Switzerland
4. Greece
5. Canada - vancouver and banff, quebec
6. Africa - safari
7. Hawaii - aloha!
8. Drive across the US

7 things I will love about you
1. Be someone of action and not word
2. Lead me closer to God
3. be someone who can completely disagree with me while warmly holding my hand at the same time.
4. have a creative sense of humor and knows how to make me smile when im down
5. someone who has reached maturity and is not obsessed with themselves
6. someone who seeks to improve themselves mentally, physically and spiritually everyday.
7. stick up for me yet still respect my independence

6 sappy movies i can watch over and over again
1. while you were sleeping
2. the sound of music
3. beauty and the beast
4. pretty woman
5. you've got mail
6. sleepless in seattle

5 things I'm afraid of
1. being involved in a car accident and causing someone else's injury
2. some particular repetitive patterns *ugh*
3. being stuck in an elevator
4. being easily discouraged and giving up
5. losing people i care about

4 things I wish I had done earlier in my life
1. Read more books
2. Travel NZ when I was living there
3. Pay attention during chinese lessons
4. Play more hockey

3 things i believe in
1. Better to give than receive
2. Better is one day in His court than a thousand days elsewhere
3. there is HOPE

2 things i need to get this summer
1. a cellphone (my current one is 4+ years old...some of the functions doesnt work any more..boo)
2. a dress to wear to Angela's wedding

1 thing I've witnessed recently
1. Christ's love pouring out of people through their generosity in supporting our short term mission trip.

famous "look-alikes"?

i don't know most of the 'famous' ppl here....
yay for joe pesci.
http://www.myheritage.com/

im outta here in 2 days! update later.

still alive

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I want to bang my head against the wall...or turn the music up mega loud...or go running without knowing where I'll end up.

I'm going mental.

HAHHAHAAAAA...I'm really OK...I AM. OK.

Coping with too much at the moment.

fight...on my knees

I feel something's coming up...so what are you up to, God?

Or, maybe it's the nearing end-of-year jitters that I'm feeling.

I can be in a crowd
Or by myself
and almost anywhere
When I feel
there's a need
To talk with God
He is Emmanuel
When I close my eyes, no darkness there
There's only light!

-Jaci Velasquez

the odd couple

while studying the other day, i heard the screechiest conversations ever from my balcony. so i walked out and saw the prettiest rainbow lorikeets in pairs!

i tried feeding them tim tams...heh found out they are not fans of chocolate cookies!

the right one looks like the dominant one! hehe guy or girl?

aww. kiss and make-up.

i hope they'll come back again someday.

so i survived this week in one piece. :) next tuesday is my thesis presentation/seminar day.

weekend retreat here i come!

dun-dun

I feel like this



But this is what I want to do



Next week.
Mon: BINF3 System Bio presentation
Tue: Thesis A Due!! + Analysis of microarray data due
Wed: Software Project Management project due
Fri-Sun: Church retreat

The following weeks will prob. be worse.

I am so T-I-R-E-D...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
-Matthew 11:28-30

ma vie en rose...

Just before dear sis left for her Europe trip, I jokingly said to her "Now, you go find yourself a charming Frenchman who will sweep you off your feet..."

Unfortunately, she failed to get my joke and and took me way too seriously. This is what happened... I don't think mama's gonna be too pleased!

HAHAHAHAA!!! Ok, so I made it up :p he's a little bit too mature for her liking i'm sure.

Apparently, while she was dining with her friends in Paris, this French singer dude walked to their table and asked her to dance whilst singing "La vie en Rose" in front of everyone in the restaurant! The french are tres romantique, n'est-ce pas?

observation

Yesterday on the bus home from school, I sat next to this guy who seemed very nerdy and reserved. As soon as he sat down, he took out this thick intelligent-looking book from his bag and began reading. Anyways, it was really noisy on the bus b/c it was filled with a bunch of rowdy high school boys. Pretty soon, it got even louder as the boys started shouting some really disturbing and offensive remarks to this girl (prob from same high school). The bus full of people turned their heads in surprise...including myself. Anyway, this nerdy guy next to me asked the girl being targeted whether they were harassing her. The girl didn't say much as she was trying hard to avoid everyone, probably because she was so embarassed. Now, what surprised me was that this nerdy guy with his books, stood up, turned to the boys at the back and in the most calm and demanding voice that seeks immediate attention, he said "Boys, I want you to stop this at once..." Well he said something else, but I can't remember...oh he also said if they continue shouting and harassing the girl, they will get kicked out of the bus. Within seconds, the bus whole quietened, and Mr. Nerdy-turned-Superhero sat down and resumed reading his book. Now, throughout the rest of the ride home, I kept thinking, how nice it was of him to do what he did, and I wanted to say "Well done, mate!" to him, but he appeared too busy reading his book. I've always admired people who stand up for others during certain circumstances.The truth is, while most passengers on the bus heard how rude the boys were, they weren't the ones being harassed so they did not feel the need to step up and give the boys some spanking despite their behaviours. I really liked how the nerdy guy stood up for someone practically a stranger, without any hesitations...like it was the most normal thing to do (well it is a "normal" thing to do but if you live in a city like Sydney, most ppl would choose to mind their own business and don't give a damn about anyone else) . Anyways, so this is my story from yesterday.

One more assignment to go then my one-week holiday awaits me. Press on. I've been so touched by some friends who have called/written to encouraged and check up on me continuously in the past week when it got really tough...I feel so undeserving of the love and friendships I have....and was reminded of this quote:

To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables

Enough sappiness...off I go.

Footprints in the Sand

Something I heard this morning:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Heb.13:5)

what do you mean?

Sometimes I wish I have something more meaningful to say other than recording the daily mundane details of life (which I love doing). I hope I haven't been too egocentric but I think people tend to find meanings in something that are personal to them. For example, some of us may be particularly passionate about a certain type of food (Mexican, in my case), a certain song on your ipod, or even the latest fashion trends on the NYC catwalk...the list goes on.

Today one of my classes was cancelled so that meant for the first time this semester I got the rest of Friday afternoon off. Oh, what joys! However, when I was walking home, I was reminded that sometimes we can be so passionate things that are meaningless. There are many things in life which are truly meaningful, but doesn't strike any flames in my heart. I read someone's blog the other day, and she said that in order to make something meaningful to us, we must make it personal first. How true!

I can clearly see in myself so many situations in which that applies. For most of the year, I've been turning away and shutting the doors to so many wonderful causes simply because I could not relate to them directly...but the truth is, things that are meaningful don't always go knocking on your door and demand your friendship (like so many useless items that catch your eyes online and catalogs that you find uninvited to your mailbox), instead, we gotta make an effort to invite them into our lives...make them personal...

somethings in the air

i love the smell of

*freshly washed laundry
*popcorn-filled cinema
*freshly shampoo-ed hair
*'light blue' perfume by D&G
*a new book
*J&J's baby products
*a bakery with pastries
*fresh cut grass
*lavender
*leather seats in new cars
*seaweed at the beach
*bbq's at the beach
*coffee shops/cart when you walk by
*fireplace on a cold night
*damp smell after the rain
*freshly painted anything
*something that brings back memories
*garlic stir-fry anything
*listerine & dittol
*my fingers after i eat something really juicy with my hand
*fresh basil and mint

Today I went jogging after class to de-stress...it really helped me stay more positive and re-focus so it was good. I hope I am disciplined enough to do this more often!

I smell some work on my desk...better go...toodles.

hokey pokey

Things are a little crazy over here at the moment. I won't ramble on about the amount of work I've got to complete from now 'till the end of the year because that is boring and it makes me nervous....

But one thing I want to say is that I'm soo craving for MEXICAN food at this very moment. Hmmmm....fajitas, quesadillas, ohhh and a mouthful of crunchy guacomole and sour cream taco goodness....why aren't there any Mexicans in Sydney?

today is the FIRST day of Spring...

..however, it seems that the weather skipped Spring and jumped straight onto Summer! today's max is 27C (~80F)...oh dear, I can't even imagine what Summer will be like this year!

mum and bubs at Centennial Park :)

Hmmm....mid-term exams are just about to start... :(

But..as always, God is good :D

jiggity jig

I just got back from an afternoon of wedding dress shopping with Michelle. I'm so happy. Why is shopping for a dress so fun?! We even got free dress advices from this big name aussie designer..hohoho...

Mon Dieu!

today i wondered,

how do you really *live* for God?

truly drop your earthly desires?

the world keeps on telling me

this is what you want

this is what you need

just keep on spinning

and you'll get what you want

but why do i find myself

wanting more and more

why is it that

my thirst cannot be satisfied?

and why does so many of us think that

the only blessings

come in materialistic forms?

*************************

today i'm reminded that

because of the price He paid for me

because of His love that melted me

all I need to do is
learn to be more like Jesus

as I no longer live

but Christ lives in me

when the world asks

how much is she worth?

I am priceless

no matter what you think

because

Christ lives in me

as simple as that

Christ lives in me

and then there was one...

Today is a sad day for me. My mum has gone back to Taiwan a couple of days ago and my dear sis has just left for her loooong Europe trip this afternoon. Honestly, I'm not used to being so independent again after being back from the exchange :( Hmmm, I will bury myself with work so I won't have to think about it. But it does makes my heart ache thinking about not being able to come home to a full house after school and not being able to crawl into their beds at night and talk until either we fall asleep or they kick me out. I guess I'm only really independent when I am forced to be so like last year.

It's really funny tho, because mum was thinking about making extra copies of our house keys, because she was worried that I will lose them at some stage. I had to persuade her that I will not accidently lock myself out of the house (it has never happened to me before, me thinks!). I guess this is a good opportunity to learn to be more organised...remembering to pay the bills and rent on time, and do ALL the houseworks. Grr...I hate cooking for one. My strategy is to cook the food based on their used-by dates. Right now, I have enough food to last me 2 weeks in the fridge...and of course, those mama-made dumplings in my freezer will feed me in times of desperation :p But someone found out about those dumplings and has threatened to come and steal them...NO, I do not have enough to go around!!

So I promised my dear jie-jie (sis) that I will not pull a "Bridget-Jones" and sing "All by myself" tonight. Hahha, so I'm just rambling on...I'm listening to "I love a lonely day" by Amy Grant at the moment.. it's cheering me up :)

Solitude can be so dear.
Loneliness is not so blue,
When it puts my mind on You.
...I love a lonely day...because it makes me think of You!!!

ENJOY YOUR EUROPEAN EXPERIENCE DEAR SIS.
You are reading this from some Apple store, aren't you? MISS YOU!!

10 things that make me feel grateful today

I am very drained...physically, mentally, emotionally... I didn't use to be like this - I used to be able to sprint up and down all day without drinking V or redbull :)
These are the 10 things that made me feel very blessed today.

1. Spending the weekend with very special friends - and having a wonderful time strolling around Sydney. Occassions like this are very rare and it was amazing to see how we are all on different walks of life now, when it was only a year ago, we were simply exchange students.

2. Being spoiled by my mum, who really is my pillar of strength and I almost take her for granted sometimes. And my father, although so far in distance, but near at heart.

3. My legs. I may have complained about how sore they were last weekend, but they are the very vehicle that carry me around and take me places. Again, I've taken them for granted.

4. Having the opportunity to serve God with others at the end of the year in Taiwan.

5. Never running out of books to read. It is always refreshing to be able to see life through different lenses and develop my very own set of values and opinions from them.

6. Witnessing how a physically unwell brother from church is trusting and clinging onto God with his life as he begins to undergo 20 weeks of chemo/stem cell transplant/radiotherapy treatments while his wife is pregnant.

7. Knowing that there are people who are willing to hold my hands while I stumble upon the crosswalks of life. Thanks dear sis, you are the apple of my eye.

8. Having 2 different types of food in my life...one to satisfy my hunger temporarily, and one to satisfy my soul infinitely...

9. Recalling that several times in life, when I stubbornly thought I could never change or I could never make it, He makes it happen, just to prove silly old me wrong!

10. Remembering that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and not just a coincidential collision of particles. :))


(This is from the NSW art gallery me and Viv visited last weekend....a room full of particles...50,000 handpainted balls floating in a room....)

wave tossed in the ocean

One of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is about "faith". I've had my fair share of high and low tides of faith since I've been back...so many things happened that made me question the God who gave me life...how ungrateful I know...but doubts...it's like a starless night for the soul...a spiritual drought. Just like this Casting Crown song says, "But once again, I said 'Amen' and it's still raining..."
But praise God, I know He is changing and helping me to grow through all this, because only the perfect One can change the imperfect me. I believe that although He sees my ongoing failures and inadequacies, He will still use me for His good purposes. I couldn't help but feel so bitter about some people but He reminded me not to give up on them because often my emotions cloud my judgments..He also really made me think about pursuing real Joy...not those 'at the moment' temporary happiness but something eternal...

Hmmm...better start doing some work...my thesis is really draining me out these days...2 other people worked on this project before me, and basically what I'm doing is combining their work and fix up all their problems...Maybe upgrade and add in more cool features to it so we can finally publish it. To be honest, this project isn't as interesting as I thought it would turn out to be, but oh wells...I'm sure once we spend heaps more time together, I will eventually learn to like it :)

I miss the girls. What an exhausting week that was but totally worth it. Hopefully all our paths will cross again someday soon.

knick knack paddywhack..

[WHAT] One-year reunion for U of I exchange students
[WHO] Viv1, Viv2, Lisa, Minsun
[WHEN] This weekend
[WHERE] My backyard....Sydney
[WHY] Coz it's been WAYY too long since we last saw each other.
[W-HOW] Viv1 coming down from Brisbane and Minsun flying in from Korea.

Really looking forward to spend time with the girls and catch up....yup..A LOT of catching up.

Dear God.

The skeptics are watching to see who will fall,
While those disillusioned search for the Truth in it all;
Maybe today we’ll cross their paths unaware,
And they’ll stop and look at us. What will be there?
-Steven Curtis Chapman

"He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life" -John 12:25

God, how can I live for you when I am so attached to what is here in this world?! Sometimes I'm low on faith and I need to see that you really do have the best plans for my life. Please continue to mould me and teach me how to trust you completely with my all...

melbourne through my eyes

I was just watching a program on t.v about the war between Lebanon and Israel. Looking at the vivid reality of the war made my heart ache. Talk about a reality check.. Is my life really that bad?! Surely not... All my problems don't seem important now.

*****************************************************

So I'm back and all refreshed to start a whole new semester! This trip to Melbourne was unusually fulfilling. I got to discover this city which was completely new to me but at the same time soo familiar. It is such a beautiful city and people are so much more friendli-er than in Sydney..it almost made me a bit uncomfortable at first. Anyways, in those 5 days, the highlights worth reflecting back on aren't the shopping nor the coffee sipping (I've had enough dose of caffeine for the year) but meeting up with the "long lost friends" - people who used to babysit me and those "big-sisters" I once looked up to as a girl. I hadn't seen most of them for more than 8 years and most had gotten hitched and are mothers now! Such a fun trip...it was all about celebrating old friendships and spending time with people who used to play important roles in my life and bringing them closer to heart once again.

yarra river in the arvo

along the river at night

Gloria's son Caleb...such a cutie pie

Afternoon tea @ Hotel Windsor.

Arghh...I miss Melbourne already. I am tired of living in Sydney. Grrr..

her violin is the 1734 Guarnerius del Ges� "ex-Huberman"!

It good to finally see Midori live on stage!

Concert Hall @ Opera House

time after time

my grades came out this morning. i wasn't terribly disappointed but they were below my expectations. i thought last semester i would be able to do really well as my workloads were pretty light. and now i wish i could re-live that semester and start over. actually i want a refund. like when you buy a top from a shop, and if you don't wear it you can always get a refund right?! i felt like i didn't 'wear' last semester. they are practically new?!

hmm regrets. that itchy patch in the corner of my heart.

far too often, i let unimportant things invade my mind....eat me alive
far too often, i realize the unkind things i'd done can never be undone
far too often, i notice the things i desire are meaningless...absolutely meaningless
far too often, i allow words to leave my lips without contemplating the consequences
far too often, i judge people without looking at the depths of my own shallow heart
far too often, i tell God that i do not need a Shephard to guide me..that i have my own way
far too often, i fall victim to a terrible word called 'favouritism'
far too often, i sing songs not from my heart but from other peoples'
far too often, i seek others' approval and acceptance and not His
far too often, i think back on my silliness and feel my heart drop - free-falling style
far too often, i spin at the speed of sound when i forget to turn the sound off
far too often, i dive head first into the pond of 'temporary joy', not real JOY.
far too often, i let satan take over my life and laugh at me
far too often, i 'eat' more than i can handle...
far too often, i ponder 'who am i' when i should start with 'who i am not'
far too often, i am lured into joining the masquerade of the plastic people
far too often, i worry about things i cannot change and are beyond my control
far too often, i become bitter when people rub me the wrong way
far too often, i give people the wrong impression and then drown in the sea of misunderstanding
far too often, i fear that people will discover, that i am not all that i am
far too often, i expect to receive when i really should be giving..i fail to see how undeserving i am
far too often, i ask Him to live his life around mine and not mine around His
far too often, i fail to fight my easily discouraged heart
far too often, i choose to keep the lessons unlearned - i'd fall and forget to pick myself up again
far too often, i get down on my knees before the Love that changes me, and ask for forgiveness

ooook my head is a huge mess at the moment. my thoughts are jumping around everywhere. i am going to turn my mind off for a while and fill it with music!

ohh..tomorrow i'll be going to Midori's concernt at the opera house :) i am looking forward to that...

Meet Otto

Flossing is never the same again.

the 2 happy couples

how blessed am i, to wake up on a sunny winter morning and greeted by my friend

merci pour les gateaux :)

stained glass masquerade

i always follow my random music cravings during exam times and recently i came accross some really nice songs. one of them is 'i am nothing' by ginny owens. i love the lyrics. if i do not love, i am nothing.

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share Your story, bring You glory, and win souls for You.
AND I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, AND lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile SO warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the Choir and Bible Study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on Earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, THEY will not matter in the end-

Chorus:
CAUSE Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won't You make it clear to me,
THAT If I do not love, I am nothing.

Bridge:
AND If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived His life for me?

OH, Sent to Earth from Heaven,
Humble Servant, Holy King,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

Chorus:
THAT Songs will fade to silence,
Stories they will cease,
The dust will settle covering ALL MY selfless deeds.
But Your life here has made it clear enough

4 more days

and i'll be done with exams...
i'm starting to get real nervous and it feels like nothing i read now is being stored in my brain.
i think it is because
f(u,v) > c(u,v),
where the network flow is exceeding my poor brain's capacity.
wow, is this the perfect application of maximal flow from algorithms or what?!

anyways, much to look forward to after exams...so in the meantime, must stop procrastinating.
btw, jack bauer is back! oh yes, he is!! on 2 nights a week...i'm so happy.

alright exams...here i come *rooarrr*

perfect study snack

Beard Papa is in Sydney!

a true test of love

a true story :)

John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell.
With time and effort, he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding.

Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting--7:00 p.m. at the Grand Central in New York. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.

I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened...

A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blond hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were as blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small provocative smile turned her lips, "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured.
Almost uncontrollably I made one more step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell.

She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was quickly walking away. I felt as though I was split in two. So keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned and upheld mine.

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me. May I take you to dinner?"

The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
---------------------------------------------------------


I think that Hollis Maynell was a wise young woman because she realized that love isn’t worthy of the name if we aren’t willing to share it with everyone.

The test of our relationship with God, which we confront every day, is our willingness to obey God by loving others.

road to recovery

i have lost my voice today :( hehe whenever i lose my voice, i think of phoebe in 'friends' and her sexy voice singing 'smelly cat'. i shall not attempt to sing because i sound more like a croaking frog.
anyway, but praise God that i am now fever-free and should be able to resume my study time-table tomorrow :) the thought of missing out of 3 days of study is starting to make me nervous. yikes!
so, the upside of recovering from the flu is that you have an 'excuse' to be in bed all day with a book and not feel guilty about it. today, warmly tugged under my goose down, i finished reading '90 minutes in Heaven' by Don Piper. it is one of the books i've been meaning to read for the past month but never got around to it.
although it wasn't so well written, it was a straight-forward, simple story - of a pastor who had died in this car accident, and spent 90 minutes in Heaven before being brought back to earth again. this book was his account of what he saw in heaven but mainly focused on his very painful, excruciating road to recovery. For me, it really confirms the power of prayer and shows that God is still working miracles, even today. It gives a strong example of how we can minister to others through our own suffering, and how to let others minister to us in our times of need.

gosh, i'm so blessed.

sick :(

My immune system is like blahhh...
I had just recovered from the flu 2 weeks ago, and now I've gotten it again...
I feel like a mess right now... Last night, I was shivering all over so I decided to take a hot bath....but that didn't really help..i was still soo cold with goosebumps...while my head was burning up pretty bad...
Why ohh why...

Oh on another hand...finally got tickets to see STOMP!! :D

if you want me to

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to
....

-Ginny Owens

today I found my face, floating in a puddle of grace

I have been staying at home a fair bit this week, because it is the final week of uni and I'm wrapping up final projects and homeworks, at the same time hiding from the horrendous Sydney weather. I've never seen it like this before....non-stop downpour and dark, gray sky.
Of course, the upside of staying at home is I get to watch Oprah at midday :) I always learn stuff from watching that show..
...pomengranates are full of natural goodness
...you should not eat anything that has hydrogenated and enriched stuff
...olive oil/sesame oil (the good oils) should be kept in the fridge or dark places
...don't eat roasted nuts! when they are roasted...all their nutrients die! eat raw ones.

I have been contacting this supervisor I want to do my thesis with. I really hope he will allow me to join his group which does research on genetic mutations and evolutionary dynamics of infectious diseases etc. Of course, everything is not in my hands and I can only pray about it.

Last exam is on the 28th of June! Quite late huh, but at least I will have plenty of time to prepare...Then, I will head to Melbourne (Jetstar's promotion - bring a friend for free) !
I was quite disappointed that I could not go to France this upcoming break to meet up with my ex roomie from Palo Alto..I've been planning this for months but there were simply too many signs saying that I shouldn't go! Ohh, but on a happy note, my parents are coming to Sydney soon!!

Alrighty...off I go.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man would have to seek Him, just to find her." - Unknown

night talk

It has been a dream of mine for years to own a herb garden. So, last weekend, I decided to go to the nursery and bought mint, basil and parsley for my terracotta troughs...ohhh was I excited :D I find it very appealing to grow your own herbs...I really like how in some cooking shows (eg. Jamie Oliver), the chefs use freshly picked herbs in their dishes!
Haha...it has been fun. Kind of like taking care of a pet, except you can eat them! Now, I just need to find some recipes that use mint.

ooook....stroll down the memory lane..
May 17th, 2005
yay...school was over! anniversary of the first day of summer break!

the four of us headed to....the Field Museum in Chicago!

I was pointing at where I am now, one year later. Ok, maybe a bit too "west".

hohoho...we are the 'blue man group'


[i am sitting at my desk and trying to get started on my report. gosh...i SOOOOOO don't want to go back to work.]

wishful thinking

is a song by ditty bops recommended by An that is stuck in my head right now. it's making me real giddy! today in lecture we had this guest prof with the wildest head of gray curls like a stereotypical mad scientist and somehow this song started playing in my head and i almost laughed out loud for some weird reasons.

wishful thinking...there has been a few rainy days recently, as winter is approaching. i have an umbrella that i hardly use. i don't carry it with me, even if i notice gray clouds forming or light drizzles before i leave my apartment. i always seem to make myself believe that the weather would turn good or the rain would stop once i step outside. hmm like the clouds would part and the sun would come out, just for me. as a result, last week i got to class totally drenched from head to toe and sat thru the 3 hours algo lecture with water dripping from my hair.

ok...i should get back to work...today i wrote out my 'to-do' list and it looked overwhelmingly long.

Oh, Ma!

Friday, as part of Missons Australia, I went to help out at Myer doing gift wrapping for Mother's day! It was soo fun seeing what everyone was getting their mum....I've concluded that all mothers have tired feet, because most of the gifts were something like woolly slippers, foot spa, and foot message cream....

Anyways, I want to dedicate some blog space here for 2 very special women in my life.

My mum - my sunshine in the rain, my oasis in the desert..and my best friend. She exudes unconditional love and infallible encouragement in my life and i will forever be unable to write down in words her worth to me. I find that the older i get, the closer I am to her. Maybe it is because I finally understand her now :)



My grandma was a woman of God. A fine example of someone who fully surrendered her life to God and took his teachings completely to heart. She died when I was around 10. Although she only learned to read when she was an adult and graduated from college at the age of 60, she showed those around her that no one is too old to learn and she lived to spread His words.

She was a mother who had endured a lot of hardships throughout all her life (raising 6 kids on her own without husband) even until the very end, but she never once doubted God. Instead, her godliness radiated through her in every self-less way. How do I know her so well? I have her letters and diaries where she wrote down her deepest thoughts! Sometimes I wonder if I could ever become someone like her.

Even though she has long passed away, she still continues to surprise us. Year after year we find out more about her, some through words of her close friends and some by accident. For example, last time, my auntie's mother in law was hospitalised in this hospital supported by some Christian organisations. We were all shocked when we saw at the back of her door, the name of my grandma, meaning she had donated the funds to build that particular room in the hospital. What touched me the most was that even though she had been living in near poverty throughout her life, and saving money whenever she could, she was so generous when it comes to helping those in greater needs than her. No one knew about her donations, I guess she wanted to keep that a secret. I wonder how many people are willing to give away something of great earthly value simply because of their faith in God? Also, sometimes due to pride and arrogance, it is so hard to do good deeds without boasting about them.

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." -Tenneva Jordan

To all the self-less mothers in the world, Happy Mother's Day.

How comforting it is to know that grace finds beauty in the ugly.

colourful :)

i <3 sunflowers

flower market

les baguettes!

pyrmont market on saturday morning

triple black. funny how we were all wearing black on the same day.

meet bojan...my favourite dog ever!

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test